Saturday, August 20, 2011
Late Podcast
Today I had to get my next Knights of the Guild CompanionCast done as it was suppose to be released yesterday. So I got up early and worked (edited) the entire thing. Took me about 13 hours (with a few breaks) to get it done from beginning to end. I normally work on podcast a few hours here and a few hours there over days but since things have been so crazy and I've been so emotionally and physically exhausted I just haven't had the time. But now that the podcast was late I had no choice but to work those 13 hours straight to get it done and up for everyone to enjoy. That pretty much took up my entire Saturday as I expected it to. I cleaned around the house a bit and watched some TV but the entire day was editing my KOTG podcasts.. And now that that is done.. I have another one due next Thursday that I haven't started yet and a new MASH 4077 podcast due in about week and a half. Oh and I'm trying to get my first episode of Confessions of a Fanboy out as well. There just isn't enough time in the day to do everything I would like to do. Luckily all these things aren't life or death, so they can be delayed if needed.
One Week Later
Well it's been one week since Harry and I said goodbye. And this is the first weekend were I'm home completely alone. But I can say I'm doing much better then I was last weekend. I spent the entire weekend alone crying on and off. But this weekend I'm doing much better. I mean my heart still hurts and I'm sure it will for a while but I'm learning to live with that feeling. I'm keeping busy with work and podcasting but also cleaning up the house. Now that Daisy is gone I'm giving the house a good cleaning to get rid of all her hair. I'm kind of "spring" cleaning, getting rid of stuff that I haven't used in a year. It's going to take several weeks, maybe even months but I'll have streamlined my belongings soon. One of these weekends I'm going to tackle the garage where all my toys are being stored. Anyways.. I'm happy to report that one week later I'm doing better and I want to thank all my friends in real life and online for all your love and support.
Friday, August 19, 2011
KOTG CompanionCast S5E4
Download from itunes - http://bit.ly/KotGCast or listen, get direct download at http://bit.ly/2CrYxk
Show Notes:
It’s time once again for the next CompanionCasts for The Guild Season Five. First of all be sure you watched Episode 4 of season 5 “Ends and Begins”. If you haven’t seen it yet watch it HERE
Our Season 4 CompanionCasts were a huge hit so we thought we would do them again for Season 5. So what is a CompanionCast?? It’s a behind the scene look at the current episode of The Guild.
I was on set everyday while they shot Season 5. As actors and crew were finished with scenes I would try and speak to them. Get some inside info about the scene they just shot. I also interviewed Felicia Day and Kim Evey about the storyline and Sean Becker about the directing. Each one of these CompanionCasts will be episode specific and will vary in length depending on how much guildie goodness I am able to gather.
In this CompanionCast I interview Sean Becker, Kim Evey, Sandeep Parikh, Robin Thorsen, Jeff Lewis, Amy Okuda, Vince Caso, Rileah Vanderbilt, Jason Charles Miller, Anthony Thompson, Adam Levermore, Grant Imahara and Greg Aronowitz
I hope you enjoy a look behind the scenes of Season 5 Episode 4 “Ends and Begins”
Kenny
Show Notes:
It’s time once again for the next CompanionCasts for The Guild Season Five. First of all be sure you watched Episode 4 of season 5 “Ends and Begins”. If you haven’t seen it yet watch it HERE
Our Season 4 CompanionCasts were a huge hit so we thought we would do them again for Season 5. So what is a CompanionCast?? It’s a behind the scene look at the current episode of The Guild.
I was on set everyday while they shot Season 5. As actors and crew were finished with scenes I would try and speak to them. Get some inside info about the scene they just shot. I also interviewed Felicia Day and Kim Evey about the storyline and Sean Becker about the directing. Each one of these CompanionCasts will be episode specific and will vary in length depending on how much guildie goodness I am able to gather.
In this CompanionCast I interview Sean Becker, Kim Evey, Sandeep Parikh, Robin Thorsen, Jeff Lewis, Amy Okuda, Vince Caso, Rileah Vanderbilt, Jason Charles Miller, Anthony Thompson, Adam Levermore, Grant Imahara and Greg Aronowitz
I hope you enjoy a look behind the scenes of Season 5 Episode 4 “Ends and Begins”
Kenny
Fun Night
Well after work today I had planned to go over to Kim Evey's house to interview her for a few of the upcoming Knights of the Guild CompanionCasts. Well about an hour before I left work I texted her to make sure we were still on and she said to come to Greg Aronowitz's house. Didn't really think much of it, just figured they were working on a new project or something. So I get to Greg's around 7:30pm (traffic was great) and as I'm parking I get a text from Kim asking me what my ETA is as she and Greg are hungry. I told her I was just outside the gate and would be inside in a few.
When I got in there I found Vu Bui loading up his equipment. Looks as though he was doing interviews with Greg and Kim for the upcoming Guild Season 5 DVD extras. Also saw something that Greg was currently working on that was AWESOME!!!! Of course I can't say what it is.. but OMG I loved it. Anyways Greg, Kim, Vu and his friend and I went to a Rib place on Venture Blvd. I had never been there before and it was quite expensive but the potions were huge and the food was wonderful. We spent the next two hours chatting and laughing. It was a really good night and something that I needed badly. Found out about Kim and Greg's next project, got some juicy details about BTS of The Guild that I was unaware of. It was just fun chatting about everything with these guys.
After dinner Kim, Greg and I went back to his place were I interviewed Kim about episodes 4, 5 and 6. Finally at midnight we called it a night. I still have to drive home and Kim still had work to do with Greg. It was a long night but so much fun.. hope I have more nights like that in the near future.
When I got in there I found Vu Bui loading up his equipment. Looks as though he was doing interviews with Greg and Kim for the upcoming Guild Season 5 DVD extras. Also saw something that Greg was currently working on that was AWESOME!!!! Of course I can't say what it is.. but OMG I loved it. Anyways Greg, Kim, Vu and his friend and I went to a Rib place on Venture Blvd. I had never been there before and it was quite expensive but the potions were huge and the food was wonderful. We spent the next two hours chatting and laughing. It was a really good night and something that I needed badly. Found out about Kim and Greg's next project, got some juicy details about BTS of The Guild that I was unaware of. It was just fun chatting about everything with these guys.
After dinner Kim, Greg and I went back to his place were I interviewed Kim about episodes 4, 5 and 6. Finally at midnight we called it a night. I still have to drive home and Kim still had work to do with Greg. It was a long night but so much fun.. hope I have more nights like that in the near future.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Daisy Arrives in Austria
Well I'm happy to blog that Daisy has made it to Austria. I don't want to think about all the stress she must have went through in the long travel.. just that she is reunited with her daddy once again. She can spent her remaining years loving the countryside. And she loves snow.. so she'll love the winters there.
Harry said as soon as she saw him she became over excited and couldn't wait to say hello... that made me smile.
Harry said as soon as she saw him she became over excited and couldn't wait to say hello... that made me smile.
Pottermore Continues
Well today I finished with book 1 and that's as far as it goes. I went back to the beginning and did another pass to see if I missed anything. I also tried to make a potion and failed miserable. I practise my wand work for a bit to help if someone challanges me to a dual. Found my missing 11th Chololate frog and found a few more Galleons. I think I unlocked all the "extra" info from Mrs Rowlings and man was it as awesome stuff. My favorites were by far the Wand lore information and of course Minerva Mcgonagall's entire back story.. what a tragic life.. made me cry and made that character so much more richer then before.. can't wait to go back and re-read the story now.
Not sure when book 2 is coming out but there is plenty to do... time to earn some house points and I'm determined to make a proper potion in the allotted time.
Not sure when book 2 is coming out but there is plenty to do... time to earn some house points and I'm determined to make a proper potion in the allotted time.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
My Hogwarts House
Well finally made my way through Pottermore to the part that I think most people are really looking forward to getting to.. the sorting. Now this is as official as it can get as JK herself created this test to place you into a house. It's like five or six questions with multiple choice answers. And you just have to honest truthfully and I have to admit some of the questions were tough to answer as multiple answers would have worked with me but I really looked deep inside me and answered with my first thought.
Now from the house descriptions I always believed I was a Hufflepuff, it's not the most popular house but Hufflepuff's are hard working, just, and kind. Loyal friends and true at heart. So I was 99% sure that was the house I was going to get sorted into.. well when it was revealed I was a bit shocked.
Yeah I'm a Gryffindor, of course if you ask most folks Gryffindor is one of the most popular houses and of course Dumbledore and Harry Potter are both Gryffindor. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get a different house as which ever house you get you would get a bit more background info about that house and of course Gryffindor is the main house we know alot about that house already. But the Sorting Hat has chosen me to be a Gryffindor, it obviously saw something inside of me that I haven't see yet... so Go!! Go!! Gryffindor
Now from the house descriptions I always believed I was a Hufflepuff, it's not the most popular house but Hufflepuff's are hard working, just, and kind. Loyal friends and true at heart. So I was 99% sure that was the house I was going to get sorted into.. well when it was revealed I was a bit shocked.
Yeah I'm a Gryffindor, of course if you ask most folks Gryffindor is one of the most popular houses and of course Dumbledore and Harry Potter are both Gryffindor. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get a different house as which ever house you get you would get a bit more background info about that house and of course Gryffindor is the main house we know alot about that house already. But the Sorting Hat has chosen me to be a Gryffindor, it obviously saw something inside of me that I haven't see yet... so Go!! Go!! Gryffindor
Saying Goodbye to Daisy
This morning Daisy begins her adventure to relocate to Austria. When Harry decided to go back to Austria after our break up we both knew he was going to take our dog Daisy. Though we both love her dearly it's clear that Daisy sees Harry has the alpha and adores him. We've had her for six years and Harry has been with her everyday for those six years.
Now we didn't want to go with shipping Daisy like a piece of luggage in the haul of an airplane. So Harry researched and found a company that does door to door service. They also handle all the paperwork to get through customs and such. They come to your house and pick her up and and personally make sure she gets on the plane in a special "pet's only" section and then they fly with her to Austria and deliver her to Harry's front door. It's a long process and extremely expensive (over $6000) but Daisy is like our child and totally worth it.
I got up around 6am to spend some final time with Daisy, lots of petting. I took her for several walks as I knew the flight was a long one (27 hours with layovers). At around 8:45 the driver showed up and we loaded up her crate. Daisy seemed to like him and wasn't as scared as I thought she would be. I mean she loves going places in the car so when the guy said "come on Daisy, let's go for a ride" she immediately jumped in the van and with a little coaching from me she went into the crate. He said he would take good care of her. Since her flight isn't until later in the day 3pmish, he planned on letting her out and walk around at the airport a bit. Of course he could have just left in there all day but I would like to think that he would keep his word, he seemed like a really nice guy.
So I said my final goodbye and she wasn't wining or anything, which made me feel better as I figure she would think that I was giving her away to a stranger. But I know in the end when she sees Harry all will be forgotten and she will be a much happier little girl.
Now the worse part is waiting over those 27 yours for a text from Harry letting me know arrived safely and is extremely happy to see him.
Now we didn't want to go with shipping Daisy like a piece of luggage in the haul of an airplane. So Harry researched and found a company that does door to door service. They also handle all the paperwork to get through customs and such. They come to your house and pick her up and and personally make sure she gets on the plane in a special "pet's only" section and then they fly with her to Austria and deliver her to Harry's front door. It's a long process and extremely expensive (over $6000) but Daisy is like our child and totally worth it.
I got up around 6am to spend some final time with Daisy, lots of petting. I took her for several walks as I knew the flight was a long one (27 hours with layovers). At around 8:45 the driver showed up and we loaded up her crate. Daisy seemed to like him and wasn't as scared as I thought she would be. I mean she loves going places in the car so when the guy said "come on Daisy, let's go for a ride" she immediately jumped in the van and with a little coaching from me she went into the crate. He said he would take good care of her. Since her flight isn't until later in the day 3pmish, he planned on letting her out and walk around at the airport a bit. Of course he could have just left in there all day but I would like to think that he would keep his word, he seemed like a really nice guy.
So I said my final goodbye and she wasn't wining or anything, which made me feel better as I figure she would think that I was giving her away to a stranger. But I know in the end when she sees Harry all will be forgotten and she will be a much happier little girl.
Now the worse part is waiting over those 27 yours for a text from Harry letting me know arrived safely and is extremely happy to see him.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I've Been Accepted to Hogwarts
I got my official Pottermore invite this morning and of course I click on it immediately and get Site is down for maintenance please try again later so I did and got in a few minutes before I had to leave for work. So during my lunch I got in again. For the next two hours I was in heaven. Right off the bat you get additional information about the Harry Potter World. Here are some of my tweets about my first reactions.
I have just entered Pottermore, & the story begins, started the 1st chapter. But I have to go do work, will explore more later. #pottermore
Loving Pottermore.. just learned some back story on Vernon and Petunia, how they met and Vernon meeting Lily and James #Pottermore
Hmm I'm going around collecting things and putting them in my trunk.. don't have a clue why I'm doing this :) #Pottermore
Just opened my account at Gringotts, I can now purchase my school supplies. Wow.. that start you off with 500 Galleons.. Loving #Pottermore
Buying my books now at Flourish and Blotts.. this is too AWESOME!!! #Pottermore
Just purchased my Cauldron from Potage's Cauldron Shop, went with Pewter, standard size 2, could have gotten Brass or Copper but cost more.#Pottermore
Hmm choices, choices.. Owl, cat or toad? #Pottermore
OMG.. so many cool things to buy at Diagon Alley, Not sure if we can earn more Galleons or does this need to last all 7 years. #pottermore
Going with an Owl, now which type. Brown, Barn, Tawny or Screech. Guess Potter is the only one allowed to get a Snowy one #Pottermore
Went with a Tawny Owl, I liked the look of him. About to get my Wand.. so excited!!! #Pottermore
Rowan with Phoenix feather core, Eleven inches, Quite flexible wand just selected me for it's new owner :) #Pottermore
wow.. Galleons goes fast.. already spent 60g on my school supplies. #Pottermore
So much new Harry Potter info.. mind exploding!!! Reading about Wand Lore and the different cores. Fascinating stuff. #Pottermore
#Pottermore is the coolest thing ever.. only been on it a few hours and up to Chapter 5 but have learned so much more about this world.
As you can see I was very excited about exploring Pottermore. There is so much to see and read that I'm sure when I go back from the beginning I'll pick up even more. I can see this being a time sucker so I'm trying to make it last as long as possible for the enjoyment. A few hours here, a few hours there.
Next up is getting sorted into a house. I'm thinking I'm Hufflepuff so it will be interesting to see which house I'm sorted into.. Stay Tuned.
I have just entered Pottermore, & the story begins, started the 1st chapter. But I have to go do work, will explore more later. #pottermore
Loving Pottermore.. just learned some back story on Vernon and Petunia, how they met and Vernon meeting Lily and James #Pottermore
Hmm I'm going around collecting things and putting them in my trunk.. don't have a clue why I'm doing this :) #Pottermore
Just opened my account at Gringotts, I can now purchase my school supplies. Wow.. that start you off with 500 Galleons.. Loving #Pottermore
Buying my books now at Flourish and Blotts.. this is too AWESOME!!! #Pottermore
Just purchased my Cauldron from Potage's Cauldron Shop, went with Pewter, standard size 2, could have gotten Brass or Copper but cost more.#Pottermore
Hmm choices, choices.. Owl, cat or toad? #Pottermore
OMG.. so many cool things to buy at Diagon Alley, Not sure if we can earn more Galleons or does this need to last all 7 years. #pottermore
Going with an Owl, now which type. Brown, Barn, Tawny or Screech. Guess Potter is the only one allowed to get a Snowy one #Pottermore
Went with a Tawny Owl, I liked the look of him. About to get my Wand.. so excited!!! #Pottermore
Rowan with Phoenix feather core, Eleven inches, Quite flexible wand just selected me for it's new owner :) #Pottermore
wow.. Galleons goes fast.. already spent 60g on my school supplies. #Pottermore
So much new Harry Potter info.. mind exploding!!! Reading about Wand Lore and the different cores. Fascinating stuff. #Pottermore
#Pottermore is the coolest thing ever.. only been on it a few hours and up to Chapter 5 but have learned so much more about this world.
As you can see I was very excited about exploring Pottermore. There is so much to see and read that I'm sure when I go back from the beginning I'll pick up even more. I can see this being a time sucker so I'm trying to make it last as long as possible for the enjoyment. A few hours here, a few hours there.
Next up is getting sorted into a house. I'm thinking I'm Hufflepuff so it will be interesting to see which house I'm sorted into.. Stay Tuned.
Here's my Wand |
Monday, August 15, 2011
Quit my Job
Well I did for all of thirty minutes. I am working at home today because I'm waiting for some paperwork to be Fedex'd to me for Daisy's vet appointment tomorrow. Everything has to happen on time or she won't make her flight on Wednesday. So I worked from home. While I was at home I got another reprimanding email from the line producer complaining about one thing or another. I'm already in an emotional state from the break up, so it took all my strength to email her back and say that I was sorry that I was unaware of this rule and it won't happen again. It would have been fine if she would have left it.. but that's not her style. She had to get the last derogatory word in and that was it. I had had enough and wrote this:
"Person's name".. I think it's time that you look for a new post production supervisor. I'm tired of getting reprimanded for things I "should" have known. This is my first gig with "Network I work for", I don't know these "rules" you keep throwing in my face. I am doing the best I can and if that is not good enough then by all means find a replacement because I won't put up with being your whipping boy whenever there is a money issue in post."
It felt good.. she and I have been butting heads for a few months and I have been close to my boiling point several time and to finally let off some steam was great.
I didn't want to quit, I love everyone else I work with but I'm too old and set in my ways to put up with continuous crap from people. Also if I quit I would not be able to collect unemployment but I didn't care.
Well thirty minutes later I got an email from the post producer (someone I work with hand in hand with in post) She had talked with the person I had an issue with and with the show runner and they really wanted me to stay, they said we would all have a meeting on Thursday and talk it out. I agreed to stay part loyalty to those two and part funding for my European Trip I hope to take next year. But I did say I won't put up with her crap anymore. One snide remark and I'm outta here.
So I go into work tomorrow, luckily she and I work in different buildings so we won't have to see each other until Thursday. I hope we can work things out I would like to finish this job in mid September. But I also am tired, emotionally drained and stressed out and have no problem quitting on a moments notice.
"Person's name".. I think it's time that you look for a new post production supervisor. I'm tired of getting reprimanded for things I "should" have known. This is my first gig with "Network I work for", I don't know these "rules" you keep throwing in my face. I am doing the best I can and if that is not good enough then by all means find a replacement because I won't put up with being your whipping boy whenever there is a money issue in post."
It felt good.. she and I have been butting heads for a few months and I have been close to my boiling point several time and to finally let off some steam was great.
I didn't want to quit, I love everyone else I work with but I'm too old and set in my ways to put up with continuous crap from people. Also if I quit I would not be able to collect unemployment but I didn't care.
Well thirty minutes later I got an email from the post producer (someone I work with hand in hand with in post) She had talked with the person I had an issue with and with the show runner and they really wanted me to stay, they said we would all have a meeting on Thursday and talk it out. I agreed to stay part loyalty to those two and part funding for my European Trip I hope to take next year. But I did say I won't put up with her crap anymore. One snide remark and I'm outta here.
So I go into work tomorrow, luckily she and I work in different buildings so we won't have to see each other until Thursday. I hope we can work things out I would like to finish this job in mid September. But I also am tired, emotionally drained and stressed out and have no problem quitting on a moments notice.
KOTG News MiniCast #8 - Thief of a Podcast
Download from itunes - http://bit.ly/KotGCast or listen, get direct download at http://bit.ly/2CrYxk
Hey Guildies, there is no "regular" podcast for the month of August. Please take a listen to this quick news minicast for the details and how you can help Knights of the Guild Podcast.
To donate to the podcast: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/963108909/lets-get-knights-of-the-guild-podcast-back-on-the
Hey Guildies, there is no "regular" podcast for the month of August. Please take a listen to this quick news minicast for the details and how you can help Knights of the Guild Podcast.
To donate to the podcast: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/963108909/lets-get-knights-of-the-guild-podcast-back-on-the
MASH 4077 Podcast Episode 14
Download from itunes tinyurl.com/MASH4077itunes or listen/direct download http://MASH4077Podcast.com
Kenny Mittleider from Knights of the Guild Podcast, Simon Meddings from Waffle On Podcast and Al Kessel from Tales from the Mouse House Podcast discuss one of the most successful and longest running television series in history.. M*A*S*H
Today we cover Season 1, Episode #14 - Love Story
Directed by Earl Bellamy
Written by Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Production code J314
Original air date January 7, 1973
Set during the Korean War in the 1950’s
Plot Summary: Radar has received a "Dear John" recording from his fiancée and he has consequently become depressed. This is until a new nurse arrives at the camp and it’s love at first sight for him. But the new nurse is into poetry and music, so the guys coach him. However, Majors Burns and Houlihan want to break them up because their relationship is against regulations, forgetting that Radar's isn’t the only romance against regulations. So Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.
Hope you enjoy it,
Kenny
Find Us on the Web:
Main website - http://MASH4077Podcast.com
Twitter - @MASH4077Podcast
Facebook Fan Page - http://www.facebook.com/MASH4077Podcast
MASH 4077 Podcast Blog - http://www.MASH4077Podcast.blogspot.com
MASH 4077 Podcast Merchandise - http://www.zazzle.com/mash4077podcast
Email Us - MASH4077Podcast@Gmail.com
© Geekyfanboy Productions
Kenny Mittleider from Knights of the Guild Podcast, Simon Meddings from Waffle On Podcast and Al Kessel from Tales from the Mouse House Podcast discuss one of the most successful and longest running television series in history.. M*A*S*H
Today we cover Season 1, Episode #14 - Love Story
Directed by Earl Bellamy
Written by Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Production code J314
Original air date January 7, 1973
Set during the Korean War in the 1950’s
Plot Summary: Radar has received a "Dear John" recording from his fiancée and he has consequently become depressed. This is until a new nurse arrives at the camp and it’s love at first sight for him. But the new nurse is into poetry and music, so the guys coach him. However, Majors Burns and Houlihan want to break them up because their relationship is against regulations, forgetting that Radar's isn’t the only romance against regulations. So Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.
Hope you enjoy it,
Kenny
Find Us on the Web:
Main website - http://MASH4077Podcast.com
Twitter - @MASH4077Podcast
Facebook Fan Page - http://www.facebook.com/MASH4077Podcast
MASH 4077 Podcast Blog - http://www.MASH4077Podcast.blogspot.com
MASH 4077 Podcast Merchandise - http://www.zazzle.com/mash4077podcast
Email Us - MASH4077Podcast@Gmail.com
© Geekyfanboy Productions
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Day After
Didn't sleep to well, as expected. But I got up early to work on some podcasts. Figured if I kept my mind busy I wouldn't be dwelling on the fact that Harry is no longer here. So that is pretty much what I did all day. I worked on the next MASH 4077 Podcast & my Knights of the Guild minicast, which took about ten hours to finish and between podcasting I took breaks to watch some TV and clean around the house. Was going to try and work on my new podcast Confessions of a Fanboy but by 8pm I was so exhausted and ready for bed, but I did mange to stay awake a bit longer to finish up the two podcasts I did get done today as they were being released at midnight tonight. Finally went to bed around 11pm.
I've come to realize why Harry's leaving hit me so hard and unexpectedly. I came out of the closet when I was 27 about to turn 28. Before that I had never been in a relationship and once I was out, from age 28 to 32 I only dated six guys and the longest relationship I had was six months. Then I meet Harry and he was the one, he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Well eight years later (and because of our government and other circumstances) our relationship ended. This was my first "real" break up, my first "real" broken heart. I'm 40 years old and I guess I've been lucky but I've never been this close to anyone in my entire life and then to have them be gone. No amount of preparation could prepare you for that. I have been fortunate and I've never lost (death) someone I was extremely close with. So I have never had to deal with this feeling of "never seeing that person again". Now of course Harry's isn't dead and I can still talk, text or skype with him. But since he's in Europe and I can't just go hang out with him, and I feel that same feeling of lose.
I'm happy to say that I am doing okay, not better, but okay. I don't think I cried the entire day. My heart hurts like I never thought it could, but I know this pain will go away in time and I'll learn to cope with the lose and move on. Right now I'm taking it a day at a time.
I've come to realize why Harry's leaving hit me so hard and unexpectedly. I came out of the closet when I was 27 about to turn 28. Before that I had never been in a relationship and once I was out, from age 28 to 32 I only dated six guys and the longest relationship I had was six months. Then I meet Harry and he was the one, he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Well eight years later (and because of our government and other circumstances) our relationship ended. This was my first "real" break up, my first "real" broken heart. I'm 40 years old and I guess I've been lucky but I've never been this close to anyone in my entire life and then to have them be gone. No amount of preparation could prepare you for that. I have been fortunate and I've never lost (death) someone I was extremely close with. So I have never had to deal with this feeling of "never seeing that person again". Now of course Harry's isn't dead and I can still talk, text or skype with him. But since he's in Europe and I can't just go hang out with him, and I feel that same feeling of lose.
I'm happy to say that I am doing okay, not better, but okay. I don't think I cried the entire day. My heart hurts like I never thought it could, but I know this pain will go away in time and I'll learn to cope with the lose and move on. Right now I'm taking it a day at a time.
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