Mini Nervous Breakdown

Well today didn't start off so well. If you are a regular reader of my blog I have been under a bit of stress as of late. I mean there always seems to be stress in my life but most of the time it's the good kind, The Guild, podcasting, social media stuff but my current job has started to pick up some steam and things are getting really stressful and on top of all the "fun" stress I have this job stress and the stress of not knowing if my Dad's cancer has returned (find out next week). So today some very little issue happened at work and I almost lost it.

My head started to hurt and I felt a tightness in my chest, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. Two co-workers were standing in my office and I asked them to both leave and shut the door as I needed a minute to myself. I guess they didn't think that was a good idea as they both just stood there looking at me asking if I was alright. Seems I turned white as a ghost and my breathing was becoming shallow. The next few minutes are kind of a blur. I remember telling myself to calm down, to just breath and I guess it worked as a few minutes passed, color came back to my face and I was able to breath normally. I had a horrible headache but the chest pains were gone and I was feeling better.

I've had anxiety attacks in the past but this felt like nothing else I have ever experienced. I'm one who never yells, scream or get upset. I tend to push down those emotions and I'm guessing that that isn't good. I can only hold down so much before the pressure explodes. I'm guessing that's why a little thing like today, can set me off. I really need to work on releasing some of this stress and tension a little bit at a time so this doesn't happen again and I have a full mental nervous breakdown.