Thursday, August 17, 2017

Believing in Yourself

Why is it so hard for me to believe the good things others say about me? I've always had low self esteem issues and I've learned to live with it. And it's gotten better over the years but still I have the hardest time accepting praise, it's like I know I work hard on something and give it my all and when people acknowledge it and tell me how great it is, I have a hardest time believing it. I guess part of me doesn't want to come off being vain or arrogant, but part of me truly doesn't believe it.

An example of this is being called a "Nice Guy" I use to hate being called that but a few years ago I decided to own it. I am a nice guy, I can't change who I am and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. You know the saying "nice guys finish last", well it's a true statement but I wouldn't want to be any other way.

I like being a nice guy, I like that people know that they can rely on me. Yes I may not achieve huge success or wealth because I'm unwilling to be cut throats.. and yes I have been taken advantage of from time to time but that just goes along with being a good person.

Another more recent example is being told I look "good" or I look "fit". Now I've been working out for over two and a half years and I can see some changes in my body but I still have a difficult time believing them. I only see my flaws and when I do catch myself at a certain angle in a certain light I can see improvements but I usually just see the bad. 

Why is it easier to believe the mean & negative things about yourself rather then the good. Is this just me or do other people find this to be true?

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

A1c (Blood Sugar) Struggles

I struggle with eating, up to a few years ago my food choices were pretty bad and my weight and A1c numbers proved it. In October of 2014 my A1c levels were at 6.4 which is considered pre-diabetic. And in all actuality if I was .1 more at 6.5 I would be diagnosed with diabetes. This diagnosis scared me as I didn't want to have diabetes because once you are diagnosis with it you will forever be, even if you bring your numbers down.

The doctor gave me three months to bring my numbers down and three months later after modifying my diet and running everyday I managed to bring my A1c from 6.4 to 6.0.. then I found NerdStrong and I continued to try and eat healthy (with lots of ups and downs) but six months later my A1c went from 6.0 to 5.7.. I was super happy.. with in one year I went from being .1 away from having diabetes to now being .1 away from being "normal". Six months later I had my A1c tested and it went from 5.7 to 5.7, yep.. no movement at all. I was disappointed in that number, I mean I was happy that the number didn't go up but still after dropping so much over the year it was disappointing.

Now it's one year later and I got my A1c numbers again and again like before it was 5.7 and is currently 5.7. My doctor was happy with those numbers but I wasn't. I've worked hard at working out 5 to 6 days a week and though my eating hasn't been the best it's better then what it was but I still can't seem to get that number any lower. Bright side I guess is that my number didn't go up.. so I'm happy about that but I hope for my next doctor visit that number can drop just .1 to 5.6