Saturday, May 11, 2013

Internet & Who Woes

I don't know what the issue is but my internet has been a little wonky as of late. Because I live in a very rural area I can't get the "normal" internet like most folks. No boardband or DSL, I tired HughesNet and that was a huge FAIL. There is this local company where I live that services this area and for the most part it's good service. I mean the speeds are slow but after three years I have kind of gotten use to them. But as of late my internet has been going out for four or five hours at a time. No explanation, but of course I'm not calling to complain either.

See I don't pay for my internet. Because of where my house is located they have one of the dishes on my property to service the valley below. They also use a bit of power to run it, which I pay for. So in return they offer me free internet. So it's tough to complain about something I don't really pay for. But man I can't wait to move and get high speed internet again.. I don't even know if I would know what to do with all that speed... but I can't wait to find out :)

Not much happen today.. Since my internet was done for a big chunk of the day, it forced me to actually be productive :). I went outside and worked on stuff in the yard. Filled in some rabbit holes (which are getting out of hand), cleaned up the yard, did a bit of weeding and moved some stuff around. Still have lots to do but it was so hot that I'd be out there for a half hour in 95 degree weather and then have to come in for an hour to cool down before going back out.. I did this three or four times (about 4 hours) before I called it a day.

I worked on my next MASH 4077 Podcast... again seems like it's taking me forever to finish this one. It's only because I only work on it for a half hour or so before being distracted. I hope to get it done soon.

I did watch the latest Doctor Who, this was the one written by Neil Gaiman (Who wrote The Doctors Wife last year and it was AMAZING) but like with the rest of this second half of series 7 I was not over joyed by it. I mean it had some good scenes and dialog and I loved Warwick Davis (he's a favorite of mine). But again it didn't leave me saying "OMG.. can't wait for next week." I don't know what is missing from this season.. maybe it's the overall story arc.. I love the character of Clara and the mystery of who she is but honestly with a few exceptions and reference they don't address it much in the episodes, if it's suppose to the overall story arc then have it in the story. These episodes have pretty much been stand alone episodes. And like I said.. I enjoy them, it's Doctor Who and even okay Who is great TV, guess I just expect more this series. We have only one more episode before this season is over but this second half of season 7 will probably be my least favorite of the series.

Friday, May 10, 2013

2013/2014 Fall TV Season

Today the networks announced what TV shows were being renewed or cancelled as well as announcing new shows to their line up. Some shows I watched were cancelled and some I loved were renewed. There are also several new shows I can't wait to see.. I'm going to go network by network and talk about each one.


Shows I watch that were renewed: Last Man Standing, Modern Family, and my favorite TV show on right now Once Upon A Time.

Shows they cancelled that I enjoyed: Happy Endings and Malibu Country. It was a hit and miss with Happy Endings but I really enjoyed Malibu Country as I'm a huge Reba fan, so I was bummed that it didn't get picked up.

New shows that are coming to ABC that I'm looking forward to: Once Upon A Time in Wonderland, a spin off of Once Upon A Time and if it's anything like the original I'm going to be hooked.  I'll give Resurrection a look but the one I think I'm most excited to see is Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.


Shows I watched that were renewed: Nothing, I was watching Grimm and it was renewed and I do plan to go back and watch the series in the future. 

Shows they cancelled that I enjoyed: The New Normal, loved this show along with Partners on CBS. The main characters were gay, both were comedies and were extremely funny but also had a lot of heart... they will be missed.

New shows that are coming to NBC that I'm looking forward to: About a Boy, loved the movie and will give the TV show a chance. Believe, liked what little I have read about it. And Michael J. Fox show as I'm a huge MJ Fox fan.


Shows I watched that were renewed: How I Met Your Mother, Amazing Race and The Big Bang Theory.

Shows they cancelled that I enjoyed: Partners, was very said to see this go. Only ran for maybe six or so episodes.

New shows that are coming to CBS that I'm looking forward to: Under the Dome. That's about it, not a huge CBS watcher.


Shows I watched that were renewed: American Dad, Simpsons, Family Guy and New Girl (gave up on Glee finally)

Shows they cancelled that I enjoyed: Touch, I watched the pilot and loved it. I plan to go back and watch both seasons in the near future. Same with Fridge, I saw the first six episodes of season one but that's it. I do plan to go back and watch the entire series.

New shows that are coming to FOX that I'm looking forward to: Almost Human, Sleepy Hollow and maybe Surviving Jack.


I don't watch anything on the CW, I do watch Supernatural when Felicia Day appears on it as a guest star, but other then that I'm not watching anything on that channel.

So overall not a lot of my shows were cancelled and I'll be picking up a few new ones come the fall. Not sure if I'll continue watching them but I'll give them 3 to 5 episodes to hook me. 

Oh I almost forgot about some "cable" shows. Clone Wars was cancelled by Cartoon Network and I was super bummed about that.. it was a casualty of Disney buying Lucas Films.

But some good news was Syfy picking up Defiance for a second season. They have only aired about five or six episodes of season one but I'm really enjoying what I'm seeing. I'm still watching Lost Girl, though I'm behind a bit but it too was picked up for another season.

And of course BBC America has more Doctor Who planned... wooohooo

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Podcasts, Studies and Cupcakes

Worked on my MASH 4077 Podcast again for an hour or so, I don't know why I can't finish it but I get distracted and side tracked.

I got an email from a USC student and they asked if they could interview me as they are interested in talking to bloggers who update their blogs frequently and write about the occurrences of their everyday lives.. I guess it's for a study.. but they are also going to be doing documentary about it as well. I'm kind of interested.. it could be fun, but I haven't decided if I want to do it or not.. think I'll take a few days to figure it out.

The big plan for today was to recording and edit my next Alien Nation podcast. It's due to be released tomorrow and my brother and I haven't even recorded it yet.

So my brother came over around 2pm and we jumped right in. We try to watch and record at least two episodes per get together and that's what we did this time around. We watched episode 16 "Partners" then we had a great time discussing the episode for the podcast. Then we watched episode 17 "Real Men" and recorded the podcast for that episode. Both episodes were funny, poignant and just really well done. I think my brother and I get better and better at this as we go along. I mean our chemstry has always been there but our episode discussion is getting so much better. Of course it could be because these are some really good episodes.. either way I'm very happy with how this podcast is turning out.. now only if more folks were listening to it.

My brother left around 6pm and I got to editing. I worked on an off for the next six hours and by midnight I was exhausted and my eyes were hurting from staring at a computer screen all day. So I called it a night and planned to finish the podcast tomorrow morning and release it then.

Had a craving for some lemon cake.. so in between editing my Alien Nation Podcast I made some yummy lemon cupcakes.. making cupcakes is so much easier, there like bite size piece of cake.. and they make less mess. I planned to have only one last night but wound up having two.. but they were so good I could of had three or four with no problem.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Trek, Trek & Buffy

Spent some of the day prepping and uploading material to edit for my next MASH 4077 Podcast. Got a few hours of editing done, but still have a few hours to go before it's ready to be released.

I saw that Star Trek the Exhibition is going back on tour. It's starting in San Diego, then Los Angeles and finally Arizona. I went to this many years ago and totally loved it. I got the three day pass and went all three days and spent the entire time there. I mean you could do and see everything in a day but I just loved immersing myself into that world. Now it's changed since I saw it last. Once it left LA it was split into two tours and went all over. But it's back and it's going to be at the Los Angeles County Fair and of course I'm going to go. Hopefully I'll be able to drag along a few friends to go with me. You can find out more info HERE.

Speaking of Star Trek.. I purchased my ticket for Star Trek Into Darkness. It's opening on Thursday but I'm not seeing it until Saturday. I wanted to make it a group event so I invited a bunch of folks and I figured Saturday mid day would be the best time for everyone. So far we got a nice group together.. we plan on seeing it on Saturday May 18th at 2:15pm at Sherman Oaks Arclight... if you wish to join us. We're all sitting in row J (J10 - J15)

Since it's Wednesday you know what that means.. it's Buffy and Bros with my best bud Robert. Got to his place around 7pm, he ordered pizza and wings so we ate dinner and start our first episode of the night. Season 6, Ep 3 "After Life" The Scooby Gang fights a ghostly demon that appears as a consequence of resurrecting Buffy. Buffy adjusts to being alive.

It's a good episode, but as I have mentioned before the beginning of season six isn't my favorite but was good seeing Buffy become Buffy again. And this episode had some very creepy and scary moments when that "ghost" would take over people bodies.

Next up was Season 6, Ep 4 "Flooded" Still adjusting to being raised from the dead, Buffy must also deal with a mountain of unpaid bills and a flood in the basement. However the Slayer's spirits are raised slightly as Giles returns to Sunnydale. Meanwhile, Warren, Andrew, and Jonathan have teamed up with the goal of taking over Sunnydale. Giles confronts Willow over her decision to bring back Buffy from the dead.

Really enjoyed this episode. We are introduced to the Trio this episode. I love that Giles confronts Willow about using magic and how defensive Willow gets..even going as far as threatening Giles. Some major fore shadowing to what's to come. Giles is really becoming a "father" figure to Buffy.. more now then ever before.

Our third episode of the night Season 6, Ep 5 "Life Serial" Buffy tries to focus on doing something useful and profitable, but The Trio are after her to make her life more difficult with their little devices and spells.

Liked this episode, had some really funny moments. It was great watching the Trio screw with Buffy's head and making her life harder, not realizing what just had happen to her. To them it was all a test to see who of the three could best her.

And our final episode of the evening Season 6, Ep 6 "All the Way" Xander and Anya announce their engagement to the Scoobies. Tara and Willow fight about Willow's overuse of magic. Dawn and her friend go out with two older boys who turn out to be vampires.

Not a favorite of mine, had some good moments and of course it's an important part to what's coming for the season but I'm a huge Willow fan and she was being a bitch and I didn't like seeing that side to her. Also with Dawn being the Slayer's sister you would think she would be a little more cautious but again it moving her character along this season..

It's tough watching these episodes as I know where the story is going. I try to not spoil things for Robert but sometimes I can't keep my mouth shut.

Can't wait for the next episode.. one of my all time favorite episodes.. "Once More With Feelings".. can't wait to share that with Robert next week.

Another awesome night hanging with my best bud watching one of my favorite TV shows and eating pizza and wings.. doesn't get any better then that. 

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Marian Call House Concert

A few days ago my buddy Luis texted me and asked if I would be interested in having Marian Call do a house concert at my place in June. I didn't hesitate as I have loved her music for many years and I'm a huge fan. So today Luis and I had a google hangout with Marian to go over details of the house party. We chatted for about 30 minutes. We talked about what she needed for me, the date it would be happening and the time. By the end of our conversation everything was good to go and the concert was set.

So I'm having a Marian Call house party concert on Sunday June 30th starting at 2pm. I created a Facebook invite and started adding people (guests) who I thought would be interested. Well when I was done there were over 60 people. My house can't hold more then 40, maybe 50 if it's standing room only. But my property can only hold about 30 cars and that's squeezing them in. Remember I live off a dirt road so there is no street parking.. all vehicles have to park on my property. So I went back through and had to un-invite about 20 people. It was tough having to pull folks from the invite. But I narrowed it down. So now I'll wait and see who is interested from those invited. I have to have at least 25 to 30, so if I don't get that many yes' then I'll open the invite again and open it up to anyone who wants to see her.

Should be a lot of fun and I can't wait until June 30th. You can read more about Marian Call and listen to her music HERE

EDIT*** Update, If you are interested in coming to this concert please drop me a line at 

Monday, May 6, 2013

My Coming Out Story

So it's been 10 years since I have been completely out to family and friends. I struggled with my sexual identity for years and now that it's been over 10 years I wanted to look back share my coming out story.

Growing up I knew I liked boys more then girls but being a kid, boys often like boys and hate girls, so this felt "normal". I have always been really close with my mom. She and I would clean the house together every week. I was, what you would call a "mamma's boy". I had a typical childhood. My family was not rich by any means but my parents manage to give my younger brother and I everything we needed and something's we wanted.

My first memory of actually liking a boy was when I was in the fourth grade. I can remember falling for this Spanish boy who use to call me his "little Bambino". I really didn't think anything of it as I was still of the age on not liking girls. I was raised in a world where a man married a woman. I had known only one gay man from my childhood who worked at a local liquor store. But I really didn't know or understand what "being gay" really meant. I remember one day a friend of mine told me that this man liked other men and looking back I think I always knew that and it might be the reason why I spent so much time there with him.

In the sixth grade I found myself playing on the gymnastic bars with the girls more then playing football with the boys. Also in sixth grade I had my first crush on a teacher... Mr. Anderson (he was my first male teacher). By the time I entered Junior High School I knew I was different, but I didn't allow myself to feel those feelings or at least express them. I remember looking a bit to long at the other guys in the changing room during P.E.

I was raised in the 70's and 80's and what I saw of "being gay" was very negative stereotypes, promiscuous, feminine, flamboyant and dying from AIDS. So I pushed my feelings deep down and got on with my life, hoping to forget about them... but of course I would never truly forget. I pretended to like girls and went on a few dates in high school but those girls always put me in the "friendzone" and I was fine with that. I remember people often asking me about a "girlfriend" and when I was going to get one, but my standard reply to that was "I'm focusing on schooling right now, but if someone came along..." I used that excuse all through high school and collage.

I fought with depression as most kids do during their teenage years, but mine had this extra layer of loneliness and confusion. I never considered suicide, or hurting myself. From the outside you would think I was just an extremely shy and socially awkward kid (and I was). I had very few friends and even among them I always felt like I was an outsider.

From age 16 on, all I've ever wanted was to be married and with kids. My goal then was to be married by 20 and have my first child by 25 and second by 27 and possibly a third by 30. I remember every year I would tell myself.. this is the year that I will find a girlfriend, I will fall in love and she will be the one. And every year I was disappointed with myself for not finding "the one". But the next year I would make the same goal.. to find the perfect woman for me and again I would fail. This was hard on me, I didn't know what was wrong with me, why I wasn't able to find that "perfect one". I would fall into some really deep depressions of loneliness. Of course I would put on a brave face for the public and my family but inside I was devastated and lost. I remember crying at night, praying to whatever god there was that I would find some one to love, to care for and to be with for the rest of my life.

My early 20's were tough, I was embarrassed by the fact that I had never had a girlfriend or been with a woman. I would lie or not bring up the topic when I was asked. I convinced myself that I was bi-sexual, I watched "straight" porn in my later teens and early 20's and enjoyed both sexes. But deep down I didn't know if I was pretending to like girls, because liking women is what I was suppose to be doing, that was normal. It was a very confusing time.

By my mid 20's I was tired of hiding who I really was, honestly I was tired a long time ago but I finally was brave enough to admit it to myself. At 25 I graduated collage and was working in Hollywood in the Entertainment Industry. The entertainment industry tends to draw a large gay community so I was working with and being friends with several gay people, this was the first time I was interacting with other gay people since the gentleman at the liquor store when I was very young. I was starting to get very comfortable with the idea of being gay. But everyday was a struggle, do I finally come out and accept who I am but in turn live a life that will expose me to hatred and prejudices or stay in the closet and be what society sees as "normal"?

My life changed forever at age 27. I spent two years working in Hollywood I was on the verge of finally coming out but what really pushed me over the edge... well are two things. First I saw the movie In and Out with Kevin Kline and it really hit home for me. If you've never seen it, it's about a man in his 40's so deep in the closet and he's about to get married until another man comes into his life and helps him understand who he really is. That was going to be, I knew that if I didn't come out that I would probably marry a woman and have kids, then later in life realize how unhappy I was and either divorce or cheat on my wife with a man. I didn't want that to happen.

The second factor was that I met someone online. Back in the day the internet was just starting up and I use to frequent yahoo chat rooms. They had a Star Trek one that I would visit often. I started up a conversation with this guy named Mat. We hit off, we would chat for hours and soon our online chats moved to phone chats. A few months into our friendship he came out to me and told me he was gay. By this time I already knew this and felt a very strong connection with him. I in turn told him that I was bi and really liked him. He asked if he could come down and visit me, he lived in Canada. I was overjoyed, this was the one, the person I have been waiting for all my entire life. There was just one problem.. I was still deep in the closet. Mat was coming down in a few weeks and was going to be staying with me for a few weeks. This was the time I had to come out, this finally pushed me to the point of no return.

I remember the fear that was building up. All I kept asking myself is what would my friends and family say. Would they accept me or reject me. What would my life be like if I lived the life of a gay man. So many questions but one thing was for certain, the door to my closet was starting to open.

One night talking to Mat I blurted out that I was gay. It was the first time I had ever said it out loud and to someone. Of course he was thrilled which actually gave me a boost of confidence. That was it, one person down.. the ball was rolling. The next day I was talking to my best girl friend at the time Renee, we were making plans to see a movie later that night. I remember telling her that I had some big news but I wanted to tell her in person. I remember getting off the phone and the panic setting in.. this was it.. there was no turning back now. I picked her up and the car ride to the theater was quiet, we chit chatted but I was slowly building up the nerve to tell her. We parked and were walking to the theater when she asked, "So what's this big news" we stopped and for an agonizing few seconds I looked up at her and took a deep breath and said "I'm gay".

It's only two little words but man what an impact they have. She stared at me for a moment and then a huge smile came across her face and she embraced me. I can't describe what I was feeling.. it was a combination of relief, panic, nausea, joy, love and acceptance all rolled into one. She said she was so happy for me. I told her about Mat and how I was in love and showed her a picture of him.

The second person I told was my male roommate Jared. He took it just as well as Renee and my confidence just grew. Over the next few weeks I told various friends and all of them were loving and supportive. Many of them kind of suspected as I had not ever had a girlfriend. But all of them were just happy that I was happy.

It hard to describe how I felt after coming out, it was a huge weight lifted off my chest. For the first time in my life I felt like I was me.

Well Mat came and unfortunately the spark wasn't there for him but he did fall for my friend Michael (who I also liked) which lead to alot of drama that I won't get into here. Needless to say that though Mat may have broken my heart I have him to thank for changing my life forever and will always be grateful.

So at the age of 27 on the verge of 28 I was finally out and ready to start living my life.

The next big hurdle was telling my family. That didn't happen until I was 31. I was out now for three years and been in several relationships. But of course now that I was out and living the gay lifestyle my family never asked me how my love life was going or if I meet any nice girls like they did for so many years. I couldn't take that next step and just tell them. I didn't want to come out close to a holiday because if things went bad I didn't want that holiday to be associated with it. Finally one day I was going to have lunch with my mom and like with Renee, I told her over the phone that I had some big news to tell her.

Again like with Renee, we didn't talk much in the car when I picked her up. We got to the restaurant, ordered food and sat down when my mom asked "So what is this big news?" By this time I had been out for years and have had several boyfriends so it wasn't as hard saying the words but in a way it was harder as this was my family. I chose my mom to come out to first as I figured she's be the one that would be okay with it the most. So I said those "oh so hard to say two words" .. "I'm Gay". She asked if I was sure and that it's not a phase, she then went on saying it must be her fault as she babied me to much. I assured her that it wasn't a phase and that nurturing had nothing to do with it... I was born this way.

She then proceeded to tell me that my family has been talking about me being gay for years. In fact after I called her to set up a time to have lunch and told her that I had some big news she called my brother and told him... "oh I think Kenny is going to come out to me at lunch today". I was mad and amused by this. I wish someone would have approached me about this as I struggled for years to tell my family and come to find out that they have been talking about this behind my back.

She asked if she could tell other family members like her sisters and mom and I told her she could but not to tell dad, that I wanted to tell dad personally. My brother already kind of knew so I didn't see the need to tell him personally. I remember getting a call from my brother not to long after I told my mom and he said.. "so you're gay... cool". And that was about it from him.. he treats me no differently. I told my mom I was going to tell dad the next weekend and my mom said something like.. "oh I don't know how he is going to take it". This actually scared me from telling him for another nine months.

Finally while visiting him one Sunday we were in the kitchen washing and drying dishes and I was agonizing over telling him for months now and it just came out. "Dad I'm Gay". I held my breath and waited for a sharp reply but nothing happened. He looked at me and said "Okay". I said "Okay?" He said "You're still my son and I love you no matter what." I was shocked and surprised. I had built up this fear of what would happen when I told him and he actually took it better then anyone else that I had hold.

So at age 32 I was out of the closet to everyone and having fun. I have had some bad experience and prejudices but living in Southern California and in the Los Angeles area is probably one of the best places to live and be a gay man. It hasn't always been easy but I can honestly say, at age 42 I have never been as happy as I am now. The past 13 years have had there ups and down but I'm living the life that I was meant to live and loving every minute of it.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Renaissance Pleasure Faire


Going to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire with a bunch of friends today. I was dressing up in my Hobbit outfit. So I was up at 7am, taking a shower and getting ready. I wanted to be out the door by 8:30 and get to the faire by 10am when they opened. I went to make breakfast while Robert got up and showered. We had some biscuits and gravy, which was very tasty.

After breakfast Robert helped with putting on my Hobbit ears. And then I put my Hobbit wig on him so I could curl it. I don't think he enjoyed it but he did it anyone because he's an awesome friend. Time was flying and I was way behind schedule. Robert's outfit was awesome but he was done in a matter of minutes. I on the other hand took a few hours to get ready. I was finally transformed into a Hobbit (less the feet) as I can't drive with those feet on. We packed up the car and headed to the faire.

Traffic was good and we got there in about 45 minutes. I was expecting a line of cars to get in like it was last year but nothing.. we drove right in, paid for parking and made our way to the parking lot with very little traffic. In fact we were only a half hour later then I had planned.

I put on my feet in the parking lot and was ready to roam the fair as a Hobbit. We met up with my friends America and Dove who arrived about the same time we did. We went inside the faire and soon were joined by friends Josh, Nicole, Steve, Aaron, Patrick, Anthony, Robin, Michele and Rupert. Also Jessica and my "son" Jesse showed up, they were working at the faire along with a another friend of mine Courtney who we saw later in the day. It was a large group and planned to get larger as the day went on. We slowly moved through the faire checking out shops and things.

Dove attracted alot of attention from the ladies (and some men), we had some fun interaction with some faire characters. The group would split up from time to time but always seems to find each other again. Dallas, Jes, Becca and Will joined us around 1pm and we said goodbye to America and Dove. I ran into friends Michele Boyd and David Blue. Got this great group picture of our group before everyone started to break up. I spent the majority of my time with two of my favorite guys.. Robert and Jesse. The gang had gone into a 17 and over show and Jesse wasn't allowed in (or so we thought) so Robert and I walked around the faire with him.

We did some axe throwing and both Jesse and I got one out of 10 to stick. We meet back up with some of the gang and walked around another hour before meeting up with Will who was purchasing some Renaissance King clothing to match his crown he purchased last year. The park had closed at 7 and we were all still at the store. Around 7:30 Robert and I said our goodbyes and headed back to the car. It was so nice removing my wig and feet when I got to the car.

It was a fun day at the faire. Lot's of people enjoyed my Hobbit outfit and that made me happy. The weather was overcast and threaten to rain but it never did. It was great hanging with all my friends and especially seeing my little buddy Jesse.

Robert and I were starving so we grabbed some dinner on the way home and decided to watch a few episodes of Buffy season six before he headed back to his place.

We had finished seasons five yesterday so today we start with Season Six episode 1 Bargaining, Part One, The Scooby Gang try to keep up appearances of normality as they prepare a ritual to raise Buffy from the dead.

Season six isn't my favorite.. I love the second half of the season more then the first but this episode was good. I like how they try and keep up appearances by using the Buffy bot. Not sure the Scooby gang did the right thing by trying to bring back Buffy.. she was dead but I know for storywise it had to be done.

And because it was a two parter we watched the second half. Season six episode 2 Bargaining, Part Two, The Scoobies try to regroup as the demon bikers ravage Sunnydale and Buffy tries to figure out where she is—and why.

Another okay episode. I did like the scene when the Scooby gang realize the mistake they made by resurrecting Buffy but not realizing that she would awake inside her coffin deep in the ground.. that was just a stupid move. I did like that it was Dawn who finally got through to her and brought her back to the Buffy we know and love.

Like I said I'll have to sit through some okay episodes before we get to the more meaty stuff towards the end.

All in all it was a fantastic day and weekend. I want to thank my best bud Robert for hanging with me all weekend long. It was a blast and I can't wait to do it again. Love you buddy!!!