Friday, January 7, 2011

Misconceptions of Being Gay

:: Getting on my Soapbox:::
  • Gay = being a woman...
First let me say that this blog is not anti-woman.. I love the fairer sex and many of my closest friends are of the female sort. But it's so frustrating when people hear that you are gay and automatically assume you to be feminine or like female things. Just because I like guys doesn't mean I'm female and like female things. I don't like dressing up in woman's clothing, I don't wear make up, my mind doesn't think like a female. I'm a dude all the way I just happen to be attracted to dudes. Now there are gay men out there who do act effeminate or like to wear woman clothing and such and there is nothing wrong that but that's such a small part of the gay community. 
  • Stereotypes
My friends say.. "Oh you guys are good with interior design", yes our house is nicely decorated but it's not because we are gay. Another favorite of mine is"Oh you guys are always nice dressers".. no.. no we are not. Just like in the straight world there are various versions of gay people.. we're not all the same... just because you are gay doesn't mean you inherit these "stereotypical" gay genes. 
  •  Attracted to all Men...
I don't understand why most straight guys think that all gay men are after them. Sorry to disappoint you but just because I'm a gay man it doesn't mean I'm going to jump on anything with a penis. Just like in the straight world us gay men are attracted to what we like.
  • Attracted to Children
This really drives me crazy but for some reason people (mostly religious) have associated being gay with being a pedophile. Are straight people attracted to children.. no.. so why would gay people be attracted to young boys?? I just don't get it...
  • Choosing to be Gay
This misconception is the worse, why would I choose to be gay and have half the world hate me, a quarter tolerate me and quarter accept me? Why would I choose to not have my civil liberates, not be able to marry, not be able to donate blood (you know us gays are all infected with HIV), I can't visit my partner in the hospital or say my final goodbye if he's near death, in most states gay couples can't adopt children.  Yeah I want to live in a world where I can't hold my partners hand or give him a quick kiss in public and not be stared at or made fun of.. or worse.  Yeah I choose this lifestyle.. I woke up one day and thought "hey I like penis", think I'm going to be gay. It truly is scary that people think that's how it actually happens.


  1. You don't know me, but I would hug you, and I'm going to be linking this on my Tumblr.

  2. I'm retweeting this and reposting this. *hugs* I love you Kenny. One day it will all change!

  3. We talk about this periodically in our house also. Just letting you know you're not crazy. Other people feel the same way as you!

    I actually lost a friend to this type of situation. She actually said (often) "but you're a girl" when we would talk about her guy issues and I would give a male perspective (as if it's really that different). There was more to our parting of ways, but mostly this topic explains it.

    I know what you mean. There are many things that male homosexuals can have in common with women, but it isn't because we're women too. It's because we're both minorities and have to find our place in society. We're just as easily compared to minority races, but apparently that's not as "fun" or comical.
    If you'll scoot over, I'll stand up there on your soap box with you. :)

    I hate kids. I dress like a slob mostly with comic tee shirts. I've always been gay and had my first crush in kindergarten. I've met tons of men who think all gay guys want to rape them and they are always the nasty ugly ones for some reason. General insecurity?

    The HIV thing really gets my goat too. I've wanted to sign up to be bone marrow donor and to give blood, but they won't take me. I also refuse to lie to them even though I know I'm negative and since I shouldn't have to.

  4. Unfortunately the (apparent?) acceptance of homosexuality doesn't seem to have come with any great understanding of what it is to be gay. Thus the stereotypes that you could have heard a hundred years ago still are very common. I know it's lame to blame the media, but stuff like Will and Grace doesn't help anybody get away from the gay = overtly effeminate image. Hopefully understanding will grow :)

  5. Thanks for sharing this. I know I have my opinions on things that are not the same, but the way you feel is exactly that. I know that my gay brother does fit some things people think and completely does not on others. The same for all his gay friends I have met. Getting to know you has stretched my thinking also.