Friday, February 12, 2016
NerdStrong Gym - My Week
Here is how amazing my gym is...
Night of the Zombie King
Chapter 1 - Attack at the Inn
Your adventuring guild had been hiring themselves out as caravan guards these past five years since the end of the Great Gnoll Wars. You all spent three months on the road, guarding a huge caravan of dignitaries from the Free City of Greyhawk as they surveyed the local countryside. It was an exhausting mission, not because of danger, or bandits, or monsters - there were none. It was just three months of sheer boredom. You had never been so glad to finish a job and get on home to the small hamlet of Dunhearst.
Your first day home was spent entirely in your beds, catching up on sleep. When you finally awoke, you were famished. You headed to the local inn, where you found almost all of your fellow caravan guards had the same idea. You’ve known each other for years, and traded all of your stories from your mercenary adventures, the wars you’ve fought, and especially your love for a local war hero, the battle-wizard Dan Jenkins, under whom many of you had served in battle, but who died during the Great Gnoll War a five years ago.
Having heard all of your stories a hundred times, you sat mostly in silence, enjoying the evening comforts of the inn, alongside a handful of farmers and merchants, appreciating the return to your normal life.
Suddenly, the front door banged open. A boy stood in the doorway, frantic, wide-eyed.
He cried, “The dead have ris-“
Before he could finish his sentence, a rusty sword plunged through his chest and he fell to the ground, dead. Standing behind him, in a dented chest plate and mouldering robes, was the shriveled but familiar face of your beloved, dead commander, Dan Jenkins!
“Dan!” Kevin cried out. "What have you done?"
With a gravelly voice like knives raking across glass, Dan whispered, “There is no Dan Jenkins. There is only Azerak, the Zombie King. And this town is mine!”
With that, Azerak/Dan raised his arms, and a flood of zombies and other foul creatures rushed past him into the tavern, slavering black ichor, dead eyes filled with bloodlust! The creatures swarmed the tavern, converging on the villagers, raking and tearing with claws and teeth.
You leapt into action, drawing the stout clubs from your hips (the only weapon you are allowed to carry in town). At once you were a party of well trained soldiers - your bodies knew their warlike jobs and your hearts knew their duty: with only your wits, and your stout clubs, you fought to save the villagers in the tavern from the Zombie King and his Minions.
For nearly half an hour you fought, cutting down Skeletons (Seal Jacks), Zombies (Air Squats), Wights (Steel Club to Guard), Mummies (Push-Ups), Shadows (Steel Club Spellcasters), and Ghosts (planks). As you were able, you rescued villagers, carrying them (30-70lb gym implements) out the inn’s back door, where they could escape into the forest.
While the party fought their undead, the first party member deposited her last villager behind the inn. As the old woman hobbled toward the forest, a voice like steel on stones screeched behind her. She turned to face what had become of her old commander.
The Zombie King rasped, “You were ever the strong one. It is too bad your companions are still occupied - this night you must die alone!”
He waved his hand over his head, and a pale green glow surrounded his body. He drew his rusty sword, and as he waved it across his broken body, it burst into flame. You gripped your club, and rushed to defeat him, dodging his swings and striking when she was able, many of her blows glancing off his glowing magical armor.
For the remaining time, you battled the Zombie King. As each of the party members vanquished her undead and saved her last villager, they joined in. (To battle the Zombie King, as a group you had to perform hundreds of burpees - the number was determined by the size of the class.)
In the end, a chorus of moaning and screeching came from the direction of the town, and the Zombie King laughed a piercing laugh. “The rest of my children emerge from their slumber!”
On the road from town you saw a wave of undead surging toward the inn. Looking at each other, you realized you could not win this battle unprepared - you must flee so you could regroup and face this threat at full strength. Grabbing up your clubs, and the last straggling villagers, you fled into the forest (230m run with clubs and, for some, 30-70lb implements).
You fled into the forest, agreeing to re-group at an old guard post abandoned since the Gnoll Wars. You saved many villagers, but hundreds were left behind - you cannot leave them all, or your old friend Dan Jenkins’ soul, to whatever fate this Azerak the Zombie King has planned!
Needless to say it was spectacular and a great workout to boot!!!
Sunday's TEAM Themed workout was Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, We grouped into teams of five were one person did a 230 Meter Run around the parking lot while the others fought off Zombies by doing Curtsy Lunges, Ballistic Curls, Shin Box and Bridge Presses. When the runner came back we'd rotate, we continued to do this for a full 30 minutes.
During out second round someone took a misstep and did things out of order which kind of through us for a loop and we spent a few rounds trying to get back into a rhythm but I'm happy to say for our final round it was perfect. It was a fun workout.
Tuesday DEX class was all about Tests. We started with 2 minutes of Air Squats, then 2 minute rest, then 2 minutes of Sit Ups, then 2 minutes of rest. We then did 2 minutes of Slamballs, another 2 minutes of rest before doing 3 minutes of Burpees and a 3 minute rest before doing our final test which was 5 minutes of WallBalls. This was tough especially towards the end with the Burpees and Wallballs as you're already exhausted from the other tests and these last two tests are even longer then the previous ones. Overall it was a great workout.
Wednesday CON class was a small one. Only me and two other people were in attendance. We started with a killer warm up of 4 rounds of 4x Shuttle, 5x Air Squats, 5x Push Ups and 5x Sit Ups. The workout was just as tough. We had to do 2 rounds of 1 minute of work/ :15 second of rest. We did Bird Dogs, Kick Thurs, Leg Raises, Dumbbell Thrusters, Dumbbell Rows, Mountain Climbers, Bicycles, Dumbbell Curls, Half Push Ups and finally Sprawls. It was a lot of different movements and though a minute doesn't sound like much, it is when you add them all up and continuously workout
Thursday STG day had one of my favorite barbell workouts... Back Squats. It was more about technique and not weight. The first set was 7x Empty 45lbs Barbell, set 2 5x 50% of max weight, set 3 was 3x 70% of max weight. Then we had to do 5x set of 5 at a comfortable weight.
We then had a 4 minute AMRAP (As Many Rounds As Possible) of 10x Kettlebell Deadlifts & 10x 1-Leg Bridge. We then ran 230 Meters and came back for another 4 minute AMRAP with 10x Kettlebell High Pull and then 10x V Ups. It's was a nice burner at the end.