I've always said that being gay doesn't defy me, it's just a small part of who I am and honestly I rarely think about it. But there are times when I feel like I'm "bad" at it. I know that sounds stupid because what does being gay really mean. Of course you have your stereotypical ideals of what a "gay" person should sound and act like but there are all types of gay people out there, from feminine acting who are easily pegged as gay, to those who you would never give a second thought about questioning their sexuality. I feel, and I've been told that I'm on the straighter side of things. The majority of people I meet say they had no idea I was gay until I told them and for some they forget I'm gay until I say something that reminds them. Is it sad that those kinds of comments make me happy. I'm not ashamed of being gay but I also don't want to be identified as being gay without someone getting to know me first.
Do I act straighter because the majority of my friends that I hang out with are straight? I don't think so as I don't feel I act gayer when I hang out with the few gay friends that I do have. I simply am who I am. Do I prefer straight friends over gay friends.. absolutely not and with that said I will admit that being with my gay friends can be a bit more comforting at times. Being around like minded people is nice, that's why I love hanging out with my geek/nerd community so much.
I guess the issue lies in my own head, what my ideal of being gay is. In the end it doesn't matter how one acts as long as you are being true to yourself and you are happy with who you are... and I am!!
No comments:
Post a Comment