Thursday, November 3, 2011

Friendship is a Two Way Street

I don't know the author of this quote that I got from Facebook, but it really struck a cord with me. Now you can read this quote many ways, could be talking about a partner/boyfriend/girlfriend but I read it as a good friend. So I figured I'd blog about my thoughts on this.

First the Quote:

"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay."

I've been on the receiving end of alot of loop sided friendship over the years, where I would give 90% and they would give 10%. I would call, email or text them to try and keep in touch with very little effort on their part. Eventually I would give up and lose them as a friend. To me life is all about friendship and the relationships that your form along the way. Finding good friends is hard enough but friendship shouldn't be work. I understand that people get busy and you might not be able to see them as you once did, but with today's technologies it takes only a few seconds to text someone saying "been super busy but wanted to say hi" or "thinking about you, let's hang soon". It's so simple yet it's so hard for some to do. If my friendship with you is not worth a few seconds of your day then like the quote says I shouldn't be holding a spot in my heart for you. I have been hurt so many times by friends who I think are "good" friends but they really only want something from me and when they get it our friendship withers away.

Maybe it's me, maybe I expect to much from my friendships, all I ask is that they put in the same amount of effort I put into our friendship. I've always wanted that small group of friends, like on the TV show Friends. Six or seven folks who just hang out all the time... I've never had that and in today's society it may be unrealistic since peoples lives seem to be so busy now a days. But I guess I'm a dreamer as I still hoping to find that group of friends.

But friendships have changed over the years with social media and the internet. I have so many great "close" friends online whom I've never met (or met once or twice). And with those friends it seems like I talk to them almost everyday and they are closer to me then most of my "real life" friends. But online friends, as great as they are, can not be there for you when you need a hug or want to just hang out and watch TV. There is a limit to those kinds of friendships, not that it takes away any importance to them, but they are different.

I currently have some of the best friendships I have had in my entire life. Unfortunately I still don't have that small group of friends to hang out with on a weekly bases but I'm getting closer. I love each and everyone of my friends, from those that I communicate online with every once in a while to those I spend time with hanging out and enjoying ones company. Friendship is what makes the world go round and I'm just enjoying the ride.


  1. I agree with you completely Kenny, and I've unfortunately had a number of those draining friendships where it feels like a major uphill battle to keep them alive, to the point where for awhile I just stopped trying but I am trying to figure out how to start working on that again. I have noticed that alot of the TV shows I get absorbed into usually are centered around that sort of group that is always together whether it is as friends like How I Met Your Mother or Big Bang Theory or as co-workers like Castle, Bones or NCIS. I think that is one of the deepest wishes of alot of people even if they aren't always aware of it. I know a problem I have is I often don't reach out as I don't know what other people's schedule is like and so I don't want to disturb or bother them if they are busy

  2. Sometimes people just are distant it doesn't mean they don't care. I am blessed to have one of my oldest and boldest friends still in my life. It doesn't matter if it were last week or last year when we saw each other. Once the conversation starts its like we were never apart. On the flip side others don't understand that I don't what to live in their pockets. Friendship is to some as valuable as a diamond. To others its a common cubic zarconia.