Thursday, February 7, 2013

When a Dream Dies

As the days, months and years go by my dreams of a having a loving partner and children dwindle. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a husband and father. I was ready to settle down and start my family at age 16. Of course my life didn't quite turn out as I thought it would when I was younger, not that I'm complaining. I love my life, I have a great family and some of the best friends a guy could ever ask for, but still... something is missing.

It's now going on two years since Harry and I broke up and there hasn't been any romance in my life, absolutely nothing, zilch, nada.. and I'm beginning to doubt there will ever be. It's hard to understand when you have friends and family around you saying how great you are and how lucky someone would be to have me as a partner but still nothing... something is wrong with this situation.

As for having kids... Over the years I have considered adopting a child or fostering as a single parent. But I've never really been financially stable to do so. And as I have now entered my 40's the chances of me having that life is quickly disappearing.

Of course I don't know what the future holds but as of right now I am letting this dream die. I was not meant to be a daddy, and being an uncle is as close to having a child of my own, I am going to get and you know what..  I'm good with that. I love my nephew and niece and I can't wait until they are old enough to come visit their uncle and do all sorts of fun activities.

It's funny how life changes from what you want to what you get.

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